MOVING CLOSER
MOVING CLOSER
HOW FAR IS TOO FAR, HOW FAR IS TOO CLOSE?
“Where do you want to move to?“
This is a frequently asked question as soon as you go on to the real estate market.
If you already know where you want to live then that’s wonderful, it is still worth examining your answer.
Moving Closer to Your Children
Grandparents would like to live closer to their grandchildren. This sounds like an emotional request – they love their grandchildren and want to be on hand to watch them grow up. This is often true. More often is the desire to move closer because of the grandparent involvement that is now almost expected.
If you are retired then you will be pressed (lovingly but still pressed) into ‘minding’ grandchildren whilst your child returns to work. I know of grandparents who have a daily commitment to their grandchildren with dropping off and picking up from pre school and school. If, as a grandparent, you live too far away then this becomes a chunk of your day and your weekly budget of petrol and car maintenance.
Grandparents who are still working become ‘babysitters’ too. If you work part time then you can expect your day off to be allocated almost immediately. If you work full time then leaving work early becomes a weekly routine, picking up grandchildren from school to alleviate the costs of after school care.
Fortunate are those who have all four grandparents, or if a ‘step’ family situation then the added bonus of extra carers.
All grandparents I know do not begrudge this time with their grandchildren. It is an opportunity to be a part of their early lives, building the bonds, strengthening the connection that will last a lifetime.
Moving Closer to Family and/or Friends
Moving closer to family is also common. You may be the main carer for your parents, whether they continue to live in their own home or in a retirement village or in aged care. The distance was easy when visiting monthly, onerous when it’s twice weekly or more. In emergency situations you may be taking the trip to mum and dads frequently.
In the past week, one of my friends was mid dinner with her child and his partner, when her dads emergency alarm went off. She lives about 15 minutes away and could get to his home and deal with the emergency quickly. He had had a fall, hit his head on the fridge, and was unconscious. A definite reason for her persistence with his hated personal alarm. What would she have done if she lived further away (her siblings are all interstate) or he didn’t have the alarm?
Friends can be a tough one. Some friends are forever, and some are seasonal. The friend I mentioned above is forever, we have known each other all our lives. I would move closer to her IF she was going to stay put, she wants to move to regional Victoria thus it would be pointless to move closer to her unless I want to follow her around the country!
Moving Closer to Where You Want to Retire to
Moving somewhere as your next home means acknowledging it may not be your last home. Many people make the seachange or tree change, moving away from their homes or neighbourhoods of the last few decades. This means moving away from the familiar to the unknown, moving away from friends, and moving away from clubs and associations you have been involved in.
Questions need to be asked. If you are older – what are the medical facilities like? What are other implications of a move to a new area. There are many government organisations that can help.
Younger movers – if you intend having children, or have children, what are the educational facilities like, what about sport, or music, or other community activities your children like? Who do you know? What activities exist in the local area that you would like to be a part of? Do you both agree on the ‘where’?
For example, we have our criteria for our new home: walk to coffee, see the beach or be able to walk to it, no big trees, open air/space around the home, warmer than our current area (that one belongs to my husband,
I would be happy in a colder climate). I say Mornington Peninsula, he prefers Phillip Island (car racing, fishing), I say Ballarat, he says no way. Yes, it’s a problem we are still discussing. He would like to move back to Emerald where he grew up. I love the area where we are. Why don’t we stay? I LOVE my home, the light, the space. I don’t love that it’s now way too big for us in both house and land, and if I can’t live here then I don’t want to stay local. Seems crazy I know!
Moving closer to our children is tricky as they both live an hour away from our current home in opposite directions! Will they stay where they are? Who knows! My aim is to find a place where they will come and visit willingly. Ambitious? Yes.
How close is too close?
You are independent, your adult children are independent. Maintaining each others independence means you can live next door, the next suburb, or even in another country, and still communicate regularly. It doesn’t mean that you love them more, or less, just that you want to live somewhere in particular.
HOW I CAN HELP/HOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHER: 15 OR 45 MINUTES
SOS SPRINT CALL: PAID, 15 MINUTES https://meet.msproperty.com.au/book/u/carolrobertson/t/sounding-board-sprint/
SOUNDING BOARD CALL: PAID, 45 MINUTES
